All the self-help gurus would lead you to believe that you need to be at your A-game every day in your life.
You need to jump out of your bed in the morning singing songs.
But we all know that it’s not possible.
Life is hard. Rarely do things happen as we want them to. So why would we be happy all the time?
We can’t be.
We are not Gods or beings of higher power. We feel every loss. We feel every negative emotion to our core. So, we can’t dismiss these negative emotions. We need to live through them. And when we are going through them it’s ok to feel low.
I view these times as phases. Life is made up of different phases. Sometimes we experience joy and at others, sorrow.
We need to feel both these emotions in order to appreciate the other.
And you don’t need to pretend to be strong every second of the day during difficult times.
You can show your emotions, or even cry too.
Crying helps in unloading the mental burden.
It’s ok to feel frustrated, sad, irritated even during these times.
But take care that you don’t prolong these negative phases for a longer period in your life.
For me personally, I tend to sulk now-a-days for a day max. That is the maximum time that I give myself to feel sad over any matter. The matter can be small or big, it doesn’t matter. The timeframe however is one day. After that, I force myself to find a solution or accept the fact that like any phase in life this too shall pass.
I too had a tendency to prolong this negative phase. It felt good to be a victim for long periods. It meant that I allowed myself to be ok with binge eating. I ate all unhealthy things for comfort.
However as I read more about personal growth and development, I started to think about my behavior. I started to take notes objectively.
Now as soon as I know that I am about to enter the sad phase, I immediately take a mental note that I will feel such a way for a day max. This satisfies that need for comfort and to feel that emotion but also prevents me from going into a negative spiral.
That would be my suggestion here.
To set a definite time for yourself in which you will feel that negative emotion.
Then after that time period don’t give yourself any excuse to stay there any longer.
I have found that after a day it normally becomes better.
After we talk to our near and dear ones about our problem we feel better.
In fact, when we speak out about our problems and share them with others we feel better.
However, I am aware that sometimes we do need to feel that negative emotion too. It’s ok. Feel it. But don’t make it your permanent home.
Take a day off.
Then next day, get into solution mode.
Find a solution or just accept the situation as it is.
If it’s outside your control, you must let it go from your mind too.
Whatever the case may be, set a definite timeframe and then get out of it the next day.
I write daily here on my blog. There is no limit to the word count. I am not focusing on any topic here. I want to build a daily writing habit. This is Day 51 of the Daily Writing Challenge in 2022.